|i fell in love with a bad, bad band.
||[Jan. 17th, 2007|06:38 pm]
|||||CocoRosie - "Lyla"||]|
a relevation hit me today. a really, really big relevation. i want children. i want offspring. i always had this thought in my head that i wouldn't care of i had children. for a long time i assumed that in the future, if i didn't have children, i would be alright with that. but today on the skytrain, i saw a new born baby, really new, i'm guessing around 1 month old. i sat behind her and her mother. and i could not take my eyes off of the baby. i just couldn't. i sat there mesmorized by this little infant, so pure, innocent, clueless to the world around her. she had her eyes shut closed, with a blanket surronding her to keep her warm. i just sat and stared at this wonderful creation. and it hit me. i want children. i want to be able to bring a living organism into this world. no matter how harsh the world can be, no matter how insane it can get, if i do one thing worth living for in my lifetime, i want it to be the act of raising a child and teaching it wonderful things, and showing this child that the world has love to offer it. i realized that i have been incredibly selfish. raising a child is one of the most un-selfish things to do, and if there is one un-selfish act i want to do, i want it to be that. this baby infront of me completely changed my attitude towards children. it started to cry and her mother put a soother in her mouth, and she stopped. she just sucked on the soother, closed her eyes, and drifted off the sleep. and that just melted my heart. the little baby infront of me on the skytrain.